October 26, 2006

March 17, 2005

  • [meaningful life]

    If:
    A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

    are represented as:
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

    Then:

    H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
    8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98% 

    and

    K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
    11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

    But,

    A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
    1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

    And,

    B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
    2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

    AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

    A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
    1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

    Thus, hardworking and knowledge will get you close but with bullshit and ass-kissing will get you over the top.

January 15, 2005

December 2, 2004

  • [silence is the key]

    i’ve learned a lot from being a pledge master. i realized that talking too much can lead to destruction. i realized that people say things they don’t really mean. they make false promises. they blurt out harsh criticism. from this, i learned that silence and determination brought me all the respect from the Charters. now i want to disappear forever.

    i am satisfied. special thanks to george and sam who believed in me.

November 23, 2004

  • [purpose of life]

    if you come to cmu, you see nerds. these nerds are not ordinary nerds. they are extraordinary. my heat transfer lab partners are nerds. they don’t look like one. but once you talk to them, they will make you look stupid.

    this one nerd talked about a bolt for 20 minutes. i can’t really elaborate on this topic because i lost him while i was listening to his crazy shit.

    i think everyone wonders about their major and their future career. i seriously question how and why i am doing engineering.

    i want to be impressive. i’m going to be impressive.

September 9, 2004

September 7, 2004

September 3, 2004

September 2, 2004

August 5, 2004

  • [bored]

    i got this from tim



    Sadaam:  I’m bored…




    Sadaam:  I’ve got an idea!  Let’s play a game of rock paper scissors!



    Some random guy: Can I play too?



    Sadaam:  No, you shut up!



    Sadaam:  We can each pick either rock….



    Sadaam:  …paper….


    Sadaam:  …or scissors.



    Sadaam:  ARE YOU REAADY TO RUMBBLEE?



    Some other Iraq guy:  Dude, say it, don’t spray it.




    Sadaam:  Whatever, let’s play.




    Sadaam:  Rock!
    Judge:  Two papers!



    Sadaam:  WTF is two papers?



    Judge:  Two papers are better than one.  I got your rock covered TWICE.  It ain’t going nowhere.



    Sadaam:  I got your two papers RIGHT HERE you faggot.  Now play for real this time.



    Judge:  Paper!
    Sadaam:  Tiger claw! 
    Judge:  What the hell is tiger claw?  You just made that shit up now.



    Sadaam:  No, it’s real!  You’re just too stupid to know!  Ask him, he knows!



    Some other guy:  It’s true.  Tiger claw does beat paper.



    Sadaam:  See?  I was right.  You’re stupid.  And ugly.



    Judge:  Okay fine, tiger claw beats paper.  Whatever.  I don’t care.



    Sadaam:  Hey, don’t start crying just because you lost!  It’s not my fault you’re too dumb to know what tiger claw is.



    Judge:  Well, you should have picked more fairly.  Nobody knows what tiger claw is.



    Sadaam:  No, you’re just an idiot.  I bet you don’t even know what the pen missle is.



    Judge:  Missle?  What missle? 



    Sadaam:  Whoooooosh!  PEN MISSLE!!



    Judge:  Okay this has gone far enough.  There’s no TIGER CLAW and there’s no PEN MISSLE in rock, paper, scissors.  You’re just making shit up.



    Sadaam:  Am not!



    Judge:  Are too!




    Sadaam:  That’s it, you’re going on my list.


    the end