March 15, 2004

• [you don't know my name...]

  
  

  i’m on a road trip with my cmu LFE hommies and we meet many many people.  it’s funny because everybody knows hype, george, and my little bro but me. all it takes is one sentence for them,

  
  

  “SUP LADIES! THEY CALL ME _______ (HYPE/GEORGE/TWEEK/ANYTHING BUT SANG) FROM CMU, BABIES! O-KAY!”

  
  

  then chicks go,

  
  

  “OH MY GOD! HEY GEORGE! HEY HYPE! HEY TWEEK! O MA GAWD! YOU GUYS SO @#$%ING ROCK! YOU GUYS ARE LIKE… O MA GAWD! YOU DUN UNDERSTAND! U GUYS JUST @#$%ING ROCK!”

  
  

  ** they would give same response even if they just go “buh!” **

  
  

  and they turn around and look at me and go

  
  

  “oh… and… who the @#$% is you?” (with a ‘U AIN’T $hI+’ look)
  

  so i’m like,

  
  

  “oh hi… my name is sang… and  i’m from cmu! yay!” (cheesy smile and fobby looks with peace signs on each of my hands)

  
  

  then music stops, crickets start chirpping, and icy wind blows. 

  
  

  *SILENCE* *SILENCE* *SILENCE* *SILENCE* *SILENCE* *SILENCE* *SILENCE* *SILENCE*

  
  

  one of the girls go,

  
  

  “oh~ i swear to @#$%ing GOD! you guys are so handsome~ let’s take a picture! oh pretty pretty please with sugar on top? (CLICK! picture taken) oh ma gawd! you look so hot… hotter than FALLOUT BOY~” (looking at the CMU LFE SUPER STARS)

  
  

  then they immediately turn around, giggle, and talk to george, hype, and my little bro as if they are @#$%ing N’SYNC.  so i’m at this little corner with other hommies who don’t know nobody.  we’re just drinking and drinking and dreaming about those gorgeous women to at least say HI to losers like us.  but NO! the cmu superstars needs every bits of all the attention.  i turn around and tell one of the loser hommies,

  
  

  “yo~ go talk to girls.”

  
  

  then he plays like he’s too cool. 

  
  

  “nah~ they are alright… imma wait for the real deal. fo shizzle shizzle nizzle jizzle dizzle jizzle~” (what in the world… is he talking about???)

  
  

  PLEASE!  i know yall want to say HI! or at least sit a foot away from them!  

  
  

  “but sang~ i really don’t know what you’re talking about~ tee hee~” (blush blush)

  
  

  shut up, slut! i know you got all those dirty-dirty-goat-play actions going on in your little head.  don’t play innocent/naive, bitch!  i know yall take advatange of  t3 connection and download mad sick porns.  after mingling and drinking, our cmu superstars decide to relocate themselves to other cool spot with more pretty women.  then the girls and other boys follow along. it’s like a frigging train… salsa-ing out of the door.

  
  

  the next thing i know, i’m kicking with good ol’ sam at the party. he is so casual.  so carefree. so ‘i don’t need girls’ attitude.  then he’s telling me,

  
  

  “guys! let’s practice our popping skills! kekekeke!” (all giddy and jollie) 

  
  

  i’m trying to play it all cool and nonchalant.

  
  

  “HAR! HAR! HAR! my good friend~ i’m just waiting for my song~ you go ahead and do your thang.” (wink! wink!)  

  
  

  and i just stand around and look around the dance floor.  and i see good ol’ sam doing “k-hiphoping + raving = sam on crack” thing.  me and my ‘we got no games and we can’t hang’ crew just standing and watching.  then we get all shocked, because all the girls get up on this “holy” man (FYI: SAM’S A GOOD CHRISTIAN).  so basically, there’s us with rainy clouds on top of our head.  and you see good sam with halo on his head dancing with flocks of pretty females with LIGHT shining from above.  WTF!

  
  

  then you see v.touch danny.  yes~ v.touch danny.  you might think this man has absolutely zero talent with socializing with females.  but this man is amazing. he is the next james bond.  and i kid you not.  holy cow.  so danny is walking around the dance floor like a big poppa pump!  he finds a target and ain’t a damn thing going to stop this bull.  he walks over to the girl and he *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and then he goes grab some more drinks then he goes back to *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* *CENSORED* and he gives her a nice kiss on her cheek and says farewell. everyone’s speechless.  he’s RICK JAMES, @#$%!

  
  

  and i’m looking on the dance floor.  i see my grand little bro.  he’s dancing with two girls. his nickname is LIL MERMAN!  LIL MERMAN! DAMN IT!  it’s not even freaking LIL MERMAID! it’s frigging LIL MERMAN! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! and girls are all up on him! dood i want to shoot myself!

  
  

  so… like i dunno dood… like i dunno why girls dun rEk0GnIzE me.  like… am i just like.. not cool and stuff? like… it’s like… ugh… whateva… like… i’m cooler than hype and george and my little bro… dood… like.. i’m so gonna be COOL! like… so cool that girls are going to 2 EPROPS ME like… “sAnG… u R sO @#$%iInG cOoL. @#$% gEorGe, hYpe, n tWeEk. tHey AiN’T $hI+ c0MpArE 2 u. <3 <3 <3″ 

  
  

  DAMN IT! I’M SICK OF BEING NOT ON THE SPOTLIGHT! I’M SICK OF POPULAR CMU LAMBDAS! *BLEEP* GEORGE! *BLEEP* HYPE! *BLEEP* TWEEK! *BLEEP* LIL MERMAN! *BLEEP* ALL YOU MISTER CMU LFE POPULARS! MAKING MY LIFE ALL MISERABLE AND @#$%! NEXT CHICK HOLLA-ING AT GEORGE/HYPE/MY LITTLE/SAM/DANNY/LIL MERMAN/ANYONE BUT SANG, IS GOING TO TALK TO MY FIVE FINGERS. 

  
  

  “HI! GEORGE! HYPE! HI TWEEK! *WHAAAAAAAAAAMP*! AHHHHH! GET OFF ME!!! STOP!!! HYPE HELP!!! GEORGE HELP!!! TWEEK!!!! WHO IS THIS GUY!! AAAAARGHHHH!”@#$% ARGHHHHH! STOP NO!!!!!!” 

  
  

  AND I’M GOING TO STRANGLE ALL THESE BROS WITH PAUL’S TIGHTY WHITEY LIKE TED KACZYNSKI TRIED TO HANG HIMSELF.  OH MY GOD! BROS ARE GOING TO PULL A KNIFE ON ME. AH FUGIT!

  
  

  I’M GOING TO STEP UP AND SHOW THESE MOTHA#$%&Z WASSUP! YEAHHHHHHHHH! IMMA KEEP IT REAAAAAAL NIGGAZ!  YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME!?!? ARF! ARF! ARF! WU-TANG!!

  
  

  p.s – i’m just playing, folks.
  
  p.s.s – i drank 3 grande caremel macchiato with elmo and tomo.
  
  p.s.s.s – “you’re officially high off of coffee” says christine woo.

  
  

  p.s.s.s.s - MY CMU LFE HOMMIES ARE THE FUNNIEST AND THE CHILLEST! AND YOU KNOW THIS! MAAAAAN~

  • 2:50 am
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